Caregiving and Alzheimer’s: You Get What You Give

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A favorite song from my law school days came on Sirius XM radio yesterday and brought back fond memories: You Get What You Give by The New Radicals (1998).

The sentiment “you get what you give” was certainly true for me during my night school experience at Golden Gate University School of Law—put in the focus and effort needed (even when I didn’t feel like it), and you will pass your exams. Don’t, and you’ll quickly learn you won’t be returning next semester.

Setting the Tone in Caregiving

The song has an upbeat rhythm and fun melody, yet it shares a deep insight into the consequences of our choices, especially during difficult times. As caregivers for people living with Alzheimer’s, we can set an upbeat tone—or not. We have that choice. They do not.

Setting an upbeat done in a licensed care home, or any home, requires intention. The foundation of an upbeat, supportive setting for people living with Alzheimer’s disease comes from:

  • Knowledge of their condition
  • Attention to our approach
  • Intention to create positive interactions

Balancing Tasks with Compassion

Caregiving in assisted living and dementia care makes for busy days filled with many tasks. A structured routine is beneficial, but when we become too task-oriented, we risk losing sight of our original intentions.

Each time we set out to meet a resident’s care needs we are making choices that impact their experience and set the tone for their day. We have the ability to set an upbeat tone, and there are endless ways to do it.

  • What’s playing in the background—news or music? (Resident favorites on Alexa: classical guitar, Everly Brothers, Frank Sinatra, Boz Scaggs, Roy Orbison.)
  • Is there something to look forward to—like a meal simmering on the stove?
  • Are spaces inviting and clutter-free?
  • Are caregivers and residents enjoying healthy snacks?
  • Are activities engaging? (Live music, games, or YouTube concerts work!)
  • Are we greeting residents with a warm smile or appearing rushed and distracted?
  • Are we finding moments for laughter? (Corny dad jokes are fantastic! “Does every sentence need to include a vegetable? Not nececelery.”)

Understanding Sensory Changes in Dementia

Caring for people with Alzheimer’s means understanding how their brain and senses are changing:

  • Vision diminishes to a narrow, flat field.
  • Hearing is impaired, with reduced word comprehension (understanding 1 in 5 words).
  • Touch changes as the brain struggles to send and receive sensory signals.
  • Taste weakens, affecting food recognition.
  • Smell may persist but often lacks awareness of safety concerns (e.g., smoke or chemicals).

We know that vision is the number one way most are taking in information about their world and as caregivers we can truly be empowered by the use of visual cues and aids.  And we can be mindful of what sounds we create and invite in our care settings.  Tone of voice is hugely important and is picked up right away by people living with dementia. Although processing our words has become difficult, getting our tone of voice and rhythm of speech is absolutely happening. This brings me back to intention — to engage with knowledge of this incredibly challenging neurological disease and focus our attention to the tone we are setting as we approach care. Is my tone of voice bright and sincere? Or rushed and terse?  How did I just make a resident feel about their care?

Caregiving and Alzheimer’s – Bringing Intention Back to Care

Each resident interaction is an opportunity to create a positive care experience. Using established techniques like Positive Physical Approach (PPA) ensures that care is skillful, compassionate, and empowering.

By shifting our mindset from negative frustrations to knowledgeable, compassionate perspectives, we can transform both our caregiving and our own well-being.

We truly do get what we give when we practice care with a positive mindset, and vice versa.  For me it means asking myself a lot of questions. Staying curious about resident needs, and seeking more knowledge from bigger minds like Teepa Snow, OT.  Lately I have been focused on changing negative statements about a resident’s care or behavior into positive statements about how teamwork and skilled caregiver support can improve their experience.  I love turning negative perceptions into knowledgeable, compassionate points of view. Of course, this can be for myself! 

The Science Behind a Positive Mindset

Want some clinical studies to back up taking a positive approach to caregiving? Here are just a few studies that show what we already know by our intuitive practices to keep it upbeat: 

Self-Care for Caregivers: Vitamin Sea & Vitamin C

Night shift caregiving comes with unique challenges. To maintain well-being, consider these simple self-care strategies:

  1. Vitamin Sea – Spend a day in nature, by the ocean, in a park, or on a hiking trail.
  2. Vitamin C – Support your immune system with nutrient-rich foods and supplements.
  3. Mindfulness & Meditation – Try this 7-minute guided meditation.

Rate Your Top Self-Care Practices

Choose two or three self-care activities this week and reflect on what helps you recover and feel better:

  • 20-minute walk in the neighborhood
  • Hike on a local trail
  • Yoga or exercise class
  • Reading a book or magazine
  • Hobby time (crochet, baking, gardening, puzzles)
  • 30-minute power nap
  • Listening to a supportive podcast
  • Playing your favorite music for 10 minutes

“Don’t Let Go, You’ve Got the Music in You”

We truly get what we give—both in caregiving and in life. By staying curious, asking the right questions, and setting positive intentions, we can create a better experience for those we care for and for ourselves.