A Lesson in Perspective My father often counseled me on how to be a critical thinker during my childhood in Los Angeles and throughout my life. He was a police officer who dedicated himself to the safety of the city and people of Pasadena for 27 years, rising through the ranks to Police Chief before retiring. In his work he saw firsthand how one’s unique view of the world around them and the choices they make, based on that perspective, affects their quality of life. He frequently told me to remember, “reality is perception.” Over time that truth has sunk in deeper and has manifested itself in a variety of ways. Life as a Rorschach Test Every day presents us with new experiences, exposes us to different ideas and therefore many choices to make about ourselves and others. I recently came across an article about a new way to apply…

Better Care Begins with Connection Rebuilding Community in Elder Care Community building has become a more conscious effort for me these past seven years since the pandemic, when we all experienced the impact of life without normal social interactions. I have become a founding member of a group committed to supporting board and care operators. We call ourselves The Board and Care Collaborative of Sonoma County. It is so joyful to meet in person once a month with other dedicated administrators and owners of small residential facilities like ours who are striving to learn and improve the care of our frailer elders. Now that we gather virtually for most of our continuing education programs, it is rare for us to meet face to face. We have discovered how much we value that connection and are now well into our second year of coming together to share ideas and explore best…

A Sequel That Reframes the Past I recently read All the Broken Places by John Boyne, published many years after his more known book The Boy in the Striped Pajamas that in 2008 was made into a critically acclaimed yet conflicted movie. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, both as a book and a movie, was experienced by many as too fable-like for the seriousness of the subject matter—The Holocaust. The sequel shifts focus from the boy Bruno to his older sister, Gretel Fernsby, now a 91-year-old woman living in modern-day London. Having spent her entire life trying to escape the dark shadow of her past and the horrific legacy of her father—the Nazi commandant of a concentration camp—Gretel is forced to confront her deeply repressed guilt, grief, and complicity when a new family with a young boy moves into the apartment downstairs. The story alternates between her traumatic post-war…

Understanding the Challenges of Brain Change In our field of eldercare, we work with people living with brain change who may experience more than memory loss and mild confusion; they can have unpredictable reactions to the stimulus in their environment that may be disruptive to their quality of life and to those around them. For example, Alzheimer’s disease causes neurons in the parietal lobe to die, impairing the person’s ability to interpret touch and move their body in our three-dimensional world. Caregiving in these cases requires more and more physical touch to assist with movement, bathing, dressing, and eating. It is therefore not surprising that we encounter challenges that include resisting care, irritability, anxiety, agitation, and sometimes aggression. The many changes a person experiences with dementia are occurring while the person’s limbic system (the brain’s fright-fight-flight response) is fully functioning and can go from calm to catastrophic in a flash.…

Why Hydration Matters Last week during our Monday Nature Stories program, we listened to a fascinating recording of sap rising through the trunk of a pine tree. The recording was made soon after spring rains were absorbed, allowing the tree to better circulate its sap. Some of the sounds made during the sap’s journey up the trunk are surprisingly similar to a cold glass of soda bubbling over ice cubes. Like trees, we too have a circulatory system that depends heavily on hydration. (See below for a link to the amazing sound of tree sap.) For both caregivers and loved ones living with dementia, focusing on hydration throughout the day can make a significant difference. Hydration is essential for all of our major organs—including the brain—to function well. During sleep, the brain undergoes a cleansing process through the glymphatic system. Adequate hydration supports this important neurological housekeeping process, while even…

A Song That Captures the Experience of Aging "I don’t move as good as I used to.Some days it takes me a minute or two.But the world keeps turnin’Like it’s meant to do.” — Another Day OldEddie Dalton A family member shared this wonderful song with me recently, by blues singer Eddie Dalton. Filled with wisdom and wonderful electric guitar accompaniment, this song captures feelings that are not possible to communicate with words only. For me it conjured a glimpse of what we witness every day as the caregivers of frail elders. Understanding the World of Aging and Brain Change Old age has been said to be like living in another country where a different language is spoken and the environment is unfamiliar. For those also living with brain change, it is more like living on another planet. And so as caregivers we are charged with the duty of approaching…

“When we live in the spirit of gratitude, there will be much happiness in our life.”— Thich Nhat Hanh Five Years After Cancer: A Moment of Reflection I am at my 5-year anniversary of a breast cancer diagnosis following two successful surgeries and radiation treatment in 2021. My oncologist and I talked about the changes I have been making in my lifestyle that include exercising more, hydrating, and practicing meditation on a daily basis. She reflected back to me that my attitude seems to have a lot of gratitude and explained that gratitude can improve health in many ways, inspiring me to learn more. What Research Says About Gratitude and Health Here is what I found about the effects of gratitude on health: A four-year study of nearly 50,000 female nurses with a median age of 79 produced some compelling findings showing that gratitude enhances well-being and improves health as we…

So I walk up on highAnd I step to the edgeTo see my world belowAnd I laugh at myselfWhile the tears roll down'Cause it's the world I have knownOh, it's the world I have known— Collective Soul The World I Have Known The world that I know seems to be changing every day. As I work with families and medical practitioners, I need courage and determination to work through the frustrations of learning new technologies that directly impact communication, reporting, and care management. For the most part, my experience is positive as we see better outcomes for our frail residents. However, there is a cost to this rapid state of change. Constant change is demanding and can lead to a worn-out and exhausted version of myself. The Cost of Constant Change The trade-off at this point is hard to even evaluate. And so I forge ahead, learn new systems and…

A Moment in the Woods “In the depth of the woods,Nature leaned into me,Shading the acheOf humanness withLoyal loving trees.”— Angie Weiland Crosby I recently walked with my family through the redwood forest in Armstrong Woods State Preserve — a treasure trove of wilderness with trees over 1300 years old living in a special Pacific Coast ecosystem at the mouth of the Russian River. Feelings of peace, calm and harmony seemed to float around us as we explored the trails and sorrel carpet of the forest floor. My lungs drank in the damp, cool air and my feet felt light as I padded along the layers of decomposing hummus. My problems seemed smaller and more manageable as I walked surrounded by these giants. Imagining a Treehouse Life It was a little difficult to leave the forest and return to my everyday life and I found myself imagining what kind of…

An Invincible Summer Within “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" — Albert Camus As we approach the winter and holiday season, I brace myself for the added holiday pressures but especially for what has become a key time for infection prevention protocols.  Memories of the last five years are fresh and vivid for many of us. It can be a challenge to embrace the happy holiday “spirit” — so I try to take bits of time to pause, breathe and make a conscious effort to generate some gratitude from within. This morning a favorite upbeat tune brought the true spirit of giving that the holidays are meant to inspire: Give a Little Bit by Supertramp.  Rediscovering the Spirit of Giving The spirit of giving is part of the American culture that I grew up with, and with 1 in 10…