A Song That Captures the Experience of Aging "I don’t move as good as I used to.Some days it takes me a minute or two.But the world keeps turnin’Like it’s meant to do.” — Another Day OldEddie Dalton A family member shared this wonderful song with me recently, by blues singer Eddie Dalton. Filled with wisdom and wonderful electric guitar accompaniment, this song captures feelings that are not possible to communicate with words only. For me it conjured a glimpse of what we witness every day as the caregivers of frail elders. Understanding the World of Aging and Brain Change Old age has been said to be like living in another country where a different language is spoken and the environment is unfamiliar. For those also living with brain change, it is more like living on another planet. And so as caregivers we are charged with the duty of approaching…

“When we live in the spirit of gratitude, there will be much happiness in our life.”— Thich Nhat Hanh Five Years After Cancer: A Moment of Reflection I am at my 5-year anniversary of a breast cancer diagnosis following two successful surgeries and radiation treatment in 2021. My oncologist and I talked about the changes I have been making in my lifestyle that include exercising more, hydrating, and practicing meditation on a daily basis. She reflected back to me that my attitude seems to have a lot of gratitude and explained that gratitude can improve health in many ways, inspiring me to learn more. What Research Says About Gratitude and Health Here is what I found about the effects of gratitude on health: A four-year study of nearly 50,000 female nurses with a median age of 79 produced some compelling findings showing that gratitude enhances well-being and improves health as we…

So I walk up on highAnd I step to the edgeTo see my world belowAnd I laugh at myselfWhile the tears roll down'Cause it's the world I have knownOh, it's the world I have known— Collective Soul The World I Have Known The world that I know seems to be changing every day. As I work with families and medical practitioners, I need courage and determination to work through the frustrations of learning new technologies that directly impact communication, reporting, and care management. For the most part, my experience is positive as we see better outcomes for our frail residents. However, there is a cost to this rapid state of change. Constant change is demanding and can lead to a worn-out and exhausted version of myself. The Cost of Constant Change The trade-off at this point is hard to even evaluate. And so I forge ahead, learn new systems and…

A Moment in the Woods “In the depth of the woods,Nature leaned into me,Shading the acheOf humanness withLoyal loving trees.”— Angie Weiland Crosby I recently walked with my family through the redwood forest in Armstrong Woods State Preserve — a treasure trove of wilderness with trees over 1300 years old living in a special Pacific Coast ecosystem at the mouth of the Russian River. Feelings of peace, calm and harmony seemed to float around us as we explored the trails and sorrel carpet of the forest floor. My lungs drank in the damp, cool air and my feet felt light as I padded along the layers of decomposing hummus. My problems seemed smaller and more manageable as I walked surrounded by these giants. Imagining a Treehouse Life It was a little difficult to leave the forest and return to my everyday life and I found myself imagining what kind of…

An Invincible Summer Within “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" — Albert Camus As we approach the winter and holiday season, I brace myself for the added holiday pressures but especially for what has become a key time for infection prevention protocols.  Memories of the last five years are fresh and vivid for many of us. It can be a challenge to embrace the happy holiday “spirit” — so I try to take bits of time to pause, breathe and make a conscious effort to generate some gratitude from within. This morning a favorite upbeat tune brought the true spirit of giving that the holidays are meant to inspire: Give a Little Bit by Supertramp.  Rediscovering the Spirit of Giving The spirit of giving is part of the American culture that I grew up with, and with 1 in 10…

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius, 121–180 CE Remembering Glen Campbell’s Legacy We recently enjoyed a music program featuring the story and songs of Glen Campbell. He was a wonderful musician and songwriter who touched us with his songs, and later in life continued to make heartfelt music as he lived with Alzheimer’s. We are so fortunate to benefit from the gift of song that Glen Campbell left us — his inspired songs like Rhinestone Cowboy, Southern Nights, Gentle on My Mind, and his amazing farewell work, Ghost on a Canvas. Music That Connects and Heals Another gifted musician is creating music sessions for our residents that she develops with their input and life experiences — Jennarose Johnson. Recently, Jennarose centered one of her sessions around Glen Campbell’s story and songs. During her program, we felt the inspiration and power…

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." — Wayne Dyer A Summer with Buster This summer we became dog sitters for a soft, cuddly labradoodle named Buster. We took him everywhere— to work with our residents, to basketball games with our grandson, and on hikes in our lovely county parks. I was keen to see how our residents interacted with him. He was a hit! I personally experienced the calming influence of this super sweet dog as I watched a tough basketball match that our grandson played in — a scenario that often causes me to feel anxious. And yet I did not fall into my usual pattern of doubt and worry, but rather felt completely at ease. Just the dog’s presence next to me seemed to bump my brain waves into a relaxed yet alert state. I became aware of how…

The Power of Personal Narratives in History I’ve been lucky to work in the field of oral history and witness the power of storytelling and its potential to provide insightful historical context. The point of oral history is to record a person‘s life experience and how they later reflect on that experience. Their choice of words, pauses in their dialogue, and the way they prioritize the events they experienced — all of that provides context to that period in history. The reflection process in itself becomes a part of the historical record. Oral histories add to a society’s understanding of the past in meaningful ways and enrich what would otherwise be a mostly academic process of determining and documenting facts — or rather, the facts as they were understood by historians at the time of publication. The power of our imagination when listening to stories from the past can help…

The Growing Demand for Guidance I often talk with family members who are seeking placement for a loved one who requires 24/7 care due to cognitive impairment or physical frailty. When I say “often,” I’m actually understating it—the calls are increasing rapidly. Families are desperate for clear, trustworthy information about licensed settings and care options. Big Business, Little Oversight Large corporate placement agencies like Caring.com and A Place for Mom dominate the online search space. Smaller agencies exist too, and some are more locally connected—but whether large or small, these businesses are masters of marketing. They rely on aggressive SEO strategies to drive traffic to their websites. The problem? Most agents never step foot in the facilities they recommend. Yet they still collect substantial commissions from the facilities—commissions that are rarely disclosed to families and are subject to no government oversight or accountability. Resources That Actually Help I truly wish…

Facing the Overwhelm of Dementia Care Facing the challenges of dementia care can feel downright overwhelming.  My blog has become an outlet to support both an inner and outer dialogue about dementia care that has helped me through some tough days, and I hope helps others. So, chin up buttercup! We can make it together with knowledge, skills, self-care and community.  This month’s focus is on reducing stress by learning how to be in a hurry but not rushed. Caregivers from all settings deal with stress, and especially when assisting a loved one with dementia. We can find ourselves trying to do too much and then hurried during care. Which, of course, will backfire by triggering the brain’s fight or flight response of the loved one in our care. Now, uh oh. What do we do?  "Be Quick, But Don't Hurry" One of the greatest basketball coaches of all time, John…